he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
