P.S. I can't hear my feet
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
