if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
