By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
