I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
