True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
