He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
