Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
