Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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