Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
