Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
