don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
