pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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