Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
