Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You are a genius and a whore.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
