Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We named our party play list daddy issues
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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