You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
