Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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