weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
