I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
