I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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