This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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