Porn is love you can see.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
