Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
