i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
