We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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