All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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