I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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