I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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