if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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