This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
