Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
