I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
