you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize