FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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