just come out here and I will go home with you...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
