Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
