Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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