I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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