I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
