I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
