He kissed a someone with a penis
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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