We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
