I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
