Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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