I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
