So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
