9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize