im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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