If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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