It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Edward fifth and chaser hands
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
