If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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