why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
