Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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