Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
