guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize