Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yo dont text me then not text me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize