I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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